Author's Note: This is a poem I created that originated from one of my stream of consciousness journal entries. I personally liked it, and decided to make a poem out of it. It has a kind of romantic feel to it, and has some repetition incorporated in it.
Frolicking freely through the endless field-
Thinking of nothing other than I see.
Bushy tassels peering out the grass-
In the wide and endless field.
Butterflies flying before my eyes;
Blue, orange, pink, and green.
Looking left, looking right-
In the wide and endless field.
Trees of every kind, size, color, shape-
Shedding great autumn colored leaves.
Nothing passing without my knowledge-
In the wide and endless field.
Golden caterpillars finding homes-
Admiring every creature's feature.
Small destined ants creating hills-
In the wide and endless field.
Stopping once to think some more-
About how this nature could be created.
Knowing that beauty describes no more-
In the wide and endless field.
Overall this is really good and I enjoyed reading it. Although the second line of the poem does not make very much sense to me, but that may just be me. Then you might also want to consider putting some space in between parts of the poem especially when you go back to the line, "In the wide and endless field."
ReplyDeleteI liked how you used a closed format for this poem and used alliteration in the first line, I thought it had a nice affect, I also agree with Maggie, some lines don't make much sense for instance the second stanza of the piece, and several others, or, "Knowing that beauty describes no more." Some lines were unclear but otherwise the poem was pretty good
ReplyDeleteI really do enjoy your pieces. I especially believe they all have something to say.
ReplyDeleteThis was a nice poem. I loved all of the repetition you used in it, the way you ended each stanza with "In the wide and endless field." Like Maggie and Brad said, there were a few lines that didn't seem to make sense, like the second line in the first stanza. Otherwise, it had a lot of cool symbolism, and it was very well written.
ReplyDeleteOverall I thought this a really strong poem. It sound very sing-songy but not in a bad way. I liked how you incorporated a lot of adjectives to make the picture really clear for the reader. I actually disagree with the rest of the comments. "thinking of nothing other than I see" made me think that the field is so wondrous, you were struggling to take it all in. Good job.
ReplyDeleteI enjoy poems that really bring out a lighter side of life, just as you have done in this one. The descriptions incorporated kind of take you into that place where you would visit when everything seems like too much. The closing to each stanza with "In the wide endless field," give it the image of a forever going kind of heaven. Even though, I do agree with what some people have already said, that some lines just didn't seem to make sense. Overall, I really did enjoy reading this and it brought one of those rainy day smiles to my face.
ReplyDelete